Great news! I am moving from chemo to surgery! After four rounds of chemotherapy, I am done. Yay! Yippee! Yahoo! My original doc appointment with my surgeon was scheduled for last Friday and 5 minutes before I was to leave my house, I get the dreaded call that doc was called for emergency surgery and needed to reschedule for “next Wednesday” and boy did that take the wind out of my sail! I had looked forward to that appointment, on Friday August 18th, for over 3 weeks and now it was moved back 5 whole, long, miserable days… I wanted good news that day so I could start celebrating over that weekend. So… Wednesday finally came yesterday and I was off to the doc for my ultrasound. The ultrasound seemed to still show “something” but doc determined that because it was shaded a different hue of gray that the tumor had shrunk significantly. Likelihood that most of what we are seeing are dead cancer cells. Yay for dead cancer… And who am I to argue with him as he sees these things daily for over 25 years, so I am gonna take his word for it!! He said he is ready to go in there and take it all out and have Pathology take a look under the scope to see what, if anything, is still there (meaning any live cancer cells). He’ll also remove one to 3 lymph nodes to check those for cancer. I am praying that everything comes back clear. Clear nodes, clear tumor margins and nothing but dead cancer cells. So Thursday, August 31st, at 7:30 I will report for surgery and go home later that day. I should have all these answers that day! These answers will determine if I am done with chemo or have to endure more after surgery (if so, it will likely to be a different drug, however, which could have different side effects). There might also be radiation needed IF, and only IF, any cancer had spread to the nodes. So… we all know that this is NOT what we want. We want CLEAR, CLEAR, CLEAR!! Which I am pretty sure we are going to get!!
I honestly do not think I could have handled another cycle of this chemotherapy (which would be next Tuesday already) as this last one did me in. I cannot remember it being this bad 10 years ago. Although it is a different concoction and I am 10 years older, so who knows… I just know that this time around the fatigue is kicking my ass. I am so tired after just being awake for 6 hours (and not doing much!), then I just need to lay down and nap for two hours. I’m sleeping well at night and having a hard time waking up! Then to add to my issues, walking even a short distance and I am out of breath. My legs feel like I have no muscles in them — did muscle atrophy occur literally overnight!? My fingers and hands and toes and feet are still numb and tingly (which previously disappeared after about 10 days… not this time!). I had said 10 years ago that this treatment ages you about 20 years… then you maybe gain back 10 years after you finish treatment (but you never really feel yourself again!). Now doing it all over again really sucks. So, just like I thought I will need to build myself back up from here. I am trying to walk a little more each day and hope that helps. After my surgery next week and few days needed for recovery, I will be able to walk more and go to the gym to add some weight training in. I guess I will have to eat better, too, in order to really feel my best. And as long as I have no more chemo after surgery, I can look forward to my hair growing back and that is a nice plus!
Despite feeling the effects of this last cycle of chemo, I was able to enjoy myself on the boat last Saturday. Unfortunately, I was not up for going out on Lake Michigan for the air show, so we went out on the chain. The boys didn’t complain too much about missing it, although I did feel bad. The chain was great though. It was the perfect weather and perfect water conditions! Jake was able to wakeboard quite a bit and he spent a little time tubing too. So fun! Well more fun for him, but it really is exciting to watch him. He literally has a smile on his face the whole time! I love it. Made for a wonderful day. The sun was shining, there was a nice cool breeze… and smiles all around me. Perfect day!
Jake started school yesterday and when I asked him how his first day was, he answered, “Fun” – how’s that? I love that this kid really likes school! He likes all his teachers and being back with friends. He got his tooth pulled Tuesday and all went well. He’ll be getting braces on next Tuesday. John has his 2nd Remicade treatment yesterday and that seems to be going well. He has had success so far with it and feels confident that it is going to work for him long term. That is really exciting for him (and all of us, really!). Okay, that’s if for today’spost. I will post next week after surgery. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers — I can really feel it!