Not gonna lie…

I am almost a week out from my 2^nd treatment and I’m not gonna lie… this one was a doozie!! I was down for the count for days and days. I feel much better today, but still have bone pain (from Neulasta for white blood cells) and nausea has been nonstop for days on end. I also just have that very heavy lead in my limbs along with numbness and tingling. Very tired… naps were my friend over the weekend. I have been taking my meds (Claritin, Advil, Compazine…) to help but still haven’t felt great. With Neulasta at least I am escaping the fever and flu like symptoms from 10 years ago! Back then I’d also be very afraid of germs so I wouldn’t get sick with a virus or infection… so this is much better than that! Small victory there. Oh well… this is all to be expected I guess. On to the next two weeks where I should have a nice upturn and feel much better starting now. Fingers crossed…

It was Jake’s birthday on Saturday and I did not really spend much time with him because he went golfing with daddy, Gaga and Dziadzi. They did 9 holes, and Dziadzi didn’t golf but he drove one of the golf cars. I just could not go. It was hot and humid and I could barely sit up for long before falling asleep. Walking can be a challenge too as I feel off-balance, light-headed, and dizzy at times. Just sick. So, I stayed home and relaxed and then spent time with Jake in the afternoon when they came home. Later that night Jake went to the Grayslake fireworks with the Farris family and had a great time! On Sunday, I felt a little better and we made our way to Hooters for lunch as I do love the buffalo shrimp dipped in blue cheese. We had a nice lunch and then went to Menards for some parts for our grill. Then we went to see Wonder Woman in 3D. We liked the movie (a little slow for me at times) and overall it was a nice day together. I would have much preferred going on the boat, but that just was not possible this weekend despite the absolutely perfect weather!

While we did spend some time with family for Jake’s birthday, we didn’t really celebrate and sing happy birthday or have cake or anything. Next week I am going to try to have a little more of an official family party here since I will be feeling better. It’s also my nephew, Justin’s birthday, so we can celebrate both! And… we finally have a deck (after 22 years in this house!) and can fit people out there for a BBQ birthday party. Now let’s hope for no rain or we are going to have to squeeze into my house and order pizza instead of barbequing! I’d much rather enjoy time outside and use the grill that’s for sure.

I feel a bit disappointed in myself this past week for having a little pity party, but when I am down I know that it can only get better so that gives me hope during those moments. I wouldn’t be as hopeful without the great support that I have with my whole family and some really terrific friends. I am so grateful to everyone who checks in on me via text, on Facebook or by phone and for those who brought me wonderful meals. It’s great not to worry about cooking or going out to eat and since I still have an appetite most of the time, I am glad to have so much yummy food to eat. Thanks everyone!

So, my next step is to go to the surgeon this Friday, July 7^th to see if an ultrasound shows any evidence that the tumor is shrinking. I do feel like it is already harder to “find” but it is in an odd place and close to my chest wall, so seeing the size on the ultrasound would be best. If it has shrunk a bit… then the chemo cocktail is doing the trick! Not sure why the surgeon is the one who does the ultrasound, but I really like him and look forward to encouraging news at that time. I’ll keep updating as I learn anything new. In the meantime, I try every day to think of at least one thing… that makes me happy, that makes me smile. One. Thing. Even though there are always more. Things about Jake and my family and friends have topped the list on most days this week, but I have to say that my new patio furniture set with fire table has also come to mind! I just love it and can’t wait to start enjoying it!  Have a great week, everyone!